Reality Check... I love you just the way you are.

I used to love the idea of playing “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader”. When the commercials first aired, I thought, “Now there’s a game show I could actually win”. I graduated from high school, college and graduate school, so I have to be smarter than a 5^th grader. Since then, I’ve stopped watching. The reality is just too hard to take…I’m smarter than most, but not all, 3^rd graders, but 5^th graders have got me beat.

I mention this only because I am humbled by the intelligence of students I meet every day, students who are considerably younger than me, I might add. The funny thing is, they have no idea of the depth of their intellect because the focus of their concern is scores and grades and advantages versus disadvantages in the college application process. I can’t, in good conscious, say these grades and scores are not important. The college application wouldn’t ask for them if they didn’t play a role in the decision making process. But what gets me is the focus on identifying the advantage versus disadvantages within the system. The hard part is, this isn’t a board game.

I’ve noticed that in an effort to “Strategize”, students have started to focus on the minutia of the application process. Items that are so far removed from what’s really important, that students find it really difficult to articulate what they like about the college, or worse, what they like about themselves. “Do I have a better chance at getting in if I am a minority/a soccer player/from South Dakota?” My next thought is, aren’t you more complicated than that? Would you want to go to a college that could sum up your value that easily?

I hate it, but I understand the frenzy. I have to understand it, because I watch the news, read the paper (and the books) that tell me that there is an education crisis. Except, I can’t think of one student I know or have ever heard of that wanted to go to college, applied and didn’t get in anywhere. I’ve definitely heard students say that they didn’t get into their 1^st choice college, which can be frustrating, but not the end of the world. Further, I don’t know of a “bad” college…there are some that might have nicer dorms, warmer climates, more access to professors, but it’s all a matter of the student’s taste. So what I’m saying is, there’s good news. YOU ARE GOING TO COLLEGE. There. The pressure is off. Now the question is, where?

Just to keep it real, I’m going on the record and saying to students, “Take back the process.” Make it about you again. Stop trying to fit into a mold, and think about your values, your needs and your goals for the future. THEN look for a college. Try your hardest not to fall in love with a reputation. Fall in love with a place that shares your vision of your best self. Chances are, you’ll come out a winner…just like you went in.